Colts QB Hasselbeck Drug Tested Again
Most NFL players are met with applause, high fives, pats on the pack and even a slap or two on the rear end after bringing their team to victory. Unless of course your Matt Hasselbeck, substitute quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts. He likely received a good bit of praise for playing one of the best games of his career, but he also got to pee in a cup for a random drug test for the third time this year.
It’s almost like the NFL can’t quite wrap their heads around how at the age of 40, Hasselbeck still manages to dominate the field like he did when the Colts wiped the end zone with the Jaguars, Texans, Falcons and most recently the Buccaneers. Not to mention that he is 97 of 150 (64.7%) for 1,023 yards (6.82 per attempt), seven touchdowns and two different interceptions, all of which garners him a 94.4 passer rating and a 71.5 QBR for the year.
Surely a middle aged football player can’t possible achieve those stats without doping, right? Wrong! Hasselbeck has passed every random drug test he’s every been asked to take. Unless he moonlights as a magician and used slight of hand to pass, it’s safe to say he’s not using performance enhancing drugs or other substances prohibited by the NFL’s drug policy.
Socks to Be You
What’s his secret then? Two words…compression socks. Yes, like the ones your Granddad wears. Only we doubt he rocks a pair of shorts pulled up to his armpit like dear old Granddad does, but his reps haven’t gotten back to us on that little detail yet.
He does, however, use the socks as a way to soothe the bumps and bruises he receives on the field rather than freezing his footballs off in an ice filled tub. “I go see this guy (performance coach Kelly Starrett) and he says there’s no proof that the cold tub is effective,” Hasselbeck said. “Between training camp and now I never step foot in the ice tub.”
In addition to compression socks, he also does his best to watch his boyish figure with the help of his teammates, even if it means getting his chops busted now and then.
“Coby (Fleener) is completely annoying to be around. I would put that in the category of when you hang around young healthy people. They make you better. It is a struggle at time, but I’m pretty aware of what I eat for the most part,” he teased. “I’ll have an egg white omelet in the morning, oatmeal with fruit. I try to have a ton of fruit and vegetables. I just try to eat a ton of carbs, but do it at breakfast and lunch. I’m not (receiver) Griff Whalen (a vegan), I do eat meat.”
Clearly Hasselbeck needs to keep doing what he’s doing if the Colts want him to lead them to victory while he fills in for Andrew Luck. Sure, there’s a good chance he’ll have to drop trou for another random drug test if he keeps throwing 315 yards worth of passes and scoring multiple touchdowns in future games. But it sure beats warming the bench, right?