How to Pass A Drug Test
Vanity Fair states that beating a drug test is “as easy as a beating a blind monkey in a tennis match.” This comes in the form of an animated video they released on their YouTube channel a few days ago.
I’m not easily offended, but the credibility of my industry is at stake here, and it’s important to get the facts straight. Some of the points they made are laughable, like shaving your eyebrows and plucking out your eye lashes so that nobody can drug test any of your body hair. But here’s the part where millions of viewers will actually take their advice: they claim that even if you’ve been popping molly and snorting cocaine, all you need to do to pass a urine drug test is the following….
- the night before the urine drug test, drink a lot of water, and take a few Advil
- the morning of the drug test, drink more water, and take a few aspirin.
- refrain from consuming drugs the night before your test
And that’s it! They actually claim you’ll be leaning back at your “soul-crushing desk job” without shedding a bead of sweat in anxiety over failing your drug test.
False information? Definitely. Encouraging people to continue taking molly and cocaine without worrying about the consequences? No doubt. Journalism? Hell, no.
Did you take their advice? If so, how’s that working out for you?
Marijuana Drug Test
Psssss: If you are using marijuana, and you have a drug test coming up, check out this infographic. You’ll be shocked to know how various factors affect how long marijuana lasts in your system